To be perfectly honest, I can’t believe I am sending in this testimony. It’s not something I’d normally do, I hold certain things close to my heart and tend to keep them private because they feel so personal. My relationship with the Lord is the thing I hold closest to my heart. I know this testimony is long, but it was 40 years in the making.
The Lord has answered many prayers during my life. He brought me children when I couldn’t have any, He healed my son’s heart when he was seriously ill. He has turned my life around in ways I could never begin to put into words. Yet I never really sent in my testimony about it because I was afraid I’d be too human and make it about me, when it’s all about Him.
So now I sit here typing out my testimony about something much smaller to the naked eye, but something so personal to my heart. A few weeks ago I was out shopping with my mother and my young daughter. I had purchased a dress for myself to wear while I photographed a wedding. I don’t normally photograph weddings and did not have anything that was made in a way where I could move the way I need to and still stay covered and modest.
After shopping for several hours I noticed my shopping bag was missing. I started to panic because I needed this dress; it is hard to find anything modest in stores, and when you add in the specific things I needed in a dress, it is even harder. I immediately started to pray and ask the Lord to help me find my dress. I went through the entire department store looking for my dress. When I couldn’t find it there, I searched the entire mall. I put my name in with the lost and found in the store where I realized the dress was missing, as well as the mall lost and found and even the store where I purchased the dress. I looked everywhere. It kept coming to my mind how I had just read the testimony on the VGR website about someone who had lost something and prayed and asked the Lord to bring it back, and if He did they would send in their testimony, so I bowed my head and I promised the Lord that if he brought back my dress in time for the wedding I’d send in my testimony, even though it was something I had fought doing for years.
We finally had to leave the mall empty handed. I prayed each day after that, but I prayed not for the dress, I prayed for faith. Even though the Lord has done amazing things in my life, I have always had to fight so hard against the devil. He comes after me every single day, telling me that the Lord does not want someone like me. To the point that at my lowest I asked the Lord if I couldn’t be His, to please at least let me be a good enough person to raise my children to be His.
I waited a few days and called the stores again; there was still no sign of the dress. My mom offered to loan me a dress that might work, I told her no, I would wear my dress. I continued to pray and ask the Lord to help my faith.
Friday May 23rd, I pulled up the VGR website and read “The Little Things” testimony that was posted that day, and it was such a help to my faith. The next day was the rehearsal for the wedding. I called the stores again. Each time they would go check to see if anything had been turned in, but each time the answer was no. That same day, May 24th, I pulled up the VGR website and read the quote of the day and the Bible verse, I knew the Lord was speaking to me. He was helping my faith to stay strong.
My husband pulled me aside and gently told me that he believed that the dress would come back but it would have to be in God’s time and that maybe I should find something else to wear. I appreciate the way he looks after me, but I reminded him that I asked the Lord to bring it back before the wedding and that the Lord did not show up until Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego stepped into the furnace, and I wasn’t at the furnace yet.
The next morning was the wedding. I still didn’t have a dress. I dressed in another dress that was modest, but it was a very bright color, which can cause color issues in photographing someone who is wearing white. I stopped and packed a bag with the shoes and sweater I would need to wear when the Lord brought my dress to me.
I left for the wedding the next morning and while driving to pick up my photography partner I had a conversation with the Lord. I told the Lord that I didn’t know how He was going to get the dress to me, but that I knew He could. I explained to him that I know He has never failed me, but I have failed Him too many times, and that I needed to not fail Him this time. If the dress didn’t show up, it would be because of my lack of faith, and I couldn’t do that. The devil comes after me with everything he has and I needed to not fail the Lord this time. I asked him to help me have faith. I kept talking to him like he was in the car with me, I told him that if idol worshipers could have enough faith in a manmade “god” to be healed, then I could have enough faith in the real God.
After I picked up my partner, things got busy quickly. The dress did not enter into my mind for hours. Finally as I was taking portraits of the bride, someone came out and told me that we needed to leave for the church in ten minutes. I pulled my phone out of my camera bag to check the time and when I did there was a text from my husband. It said that my dress was at a certain store. I sent a text back happily saying that I was just stepping into the furnace.
He had been listening to a tape that morning, when that sweet, still, small voice told him to call the stores in alphabetical order. He almost skipped the first store, because I had gone in the store in person and called it several times as well, but that still, small voice said call, so he did. The store was not even open yet, but a kind voice answered the phone and offered to look again… this time the dress was there. Not only was my dress there, but my oldest brother just happened to be walking into the mall at that same moment. He offered to bring the dress to me so I could wear it to the wedding, I declined, saying that my shoes and sweater were in a bag in my car, which was at the reception hall. I’d just put it on at the reception. I was just happy because the Lord answered my prayer. As the wedding was getting ready to start, I looked out a window and realized that my car was at the church the whole time, my partner had driven it to the church while I rode with the wedding party. I could have worn my dress to the wedding just like I asked. I just was so excited that the Lord answered my prayer, I never noticed the car. I did change into my prayed-for dress at the reception.
I know that dress was not in the closet of the store until she opened the door that last time. I’m so happy to know this Message, to know my Lord is real, real to me, in my heart.
I keep a screen shot of our texts and the quote of the day from the 23rd of May on my phone now. When the devil comes after me now, my armor is a bit stronger.
Thank you for all you do at VGR, YF, and Still Waters. You have been such a blessing to our family.
Sister Hannah