I wanted to give God thanks and praise for being THE GREAT SHEPHERD and rescuing me from the mouth of the enemy. I pray God this testimony will encourage and bless someone’s heart, as I give God thanks and praise for His AMAZING GRACE.
I was walking with the Lord a couple of years ago, but ended up falling from fellowship with Him. His grace reached me again but I still ended up falling from fellowship with Him again for the second time. I was living in sin. I drifted so far from God, I didn't know my way back. I was living and doing everything contrary to what I knew pleased God. I lived that way for years, but deep down in my heart I knew that God wouldn't let me die in my condition. I didn't know how, but I knew He would.
I remembered one day, a pastor said that if you don’t raise your kids the right way, which is the way of the Lord, then the world and school system would raise them and teach them for you. I knew I had to raise my son right, so I bought a kids Bible story and decided to read to him at bedtime and raise him in the way of the Lord. I remember every time I would read the stories to him, I would feel so guilty and unhappy and convicted. I felt like a hypocrite.
As we read on, I would tell him that every time God’s people turned away from God and started to live in sin, He would send a warning through a prophet. One day he asked me, “Mommy, did God send a prophet in this age?” I knew I couldn’t lie to him. I told him yes, and told him He sent Brother William Marrion Branham. I also showed him a photo. As I did, my heart started to burn within me with guilt and shame. After I tucked him in bed, I knew I couldn’t continue to live the way I was living without God.
I remember I was getting ready to read for my son one night after that, and I began to feel heavy in my heart. Very heavy and unhappy, when I took the next story to read that night for my son, lo and behold it was The Prodigal Son. I read the story with heaviness of heart. My heart was so heavy after reading it, I remember rushing my son to bed. After that, I remember lying on my bed and feeling soooo lost. I felt worst than the prodigal son. At least he knew his way back to his father’s house, but I didn't even know where or how to go back home, or where to start. I felt so los. I was so lost in sin, my sins were so many, I didn't even know if God would forgive me. I never felt so lost in my life. I felt like I was in a deep dark hole, far from my Creator. The tears were falling so rapid from my eyes, I was so sorry, I didn't know when or how I ended up so far from God. I missed Him, and I didn't know my way back.
I remember being so overwhelmed, I couldn’t even pray. I couldn't even speak. I could hardly breathe. The pain and sorrow I felt in my heart pierced into my soul. All I could say was, “Lord, I’m so lost. Help me please in my heart.” Almost immediately I remember hearing a voice like God’s Holy Spirit, saying “Pick up your Bible!”
I got up and grabbed my Bible. He said close your eyes and open the Bible. I did, and I opened the Bible to Psalm 32. I couldn't believe my eyes. It was a Psalm of forgiveness. I was confused, but a little happy.
There came the devil and the battle was on. He told me I opened the Bible on that page by coincidence. He told me my sins were too many and that I can never be forgiven or restored. I could also hear God’s Holy Spirit interceding and reasoning with me. It was a battle with God’s Spirit encouraging me and Satan trying to make me doubt God’s forgiveness.
I got down on my knees and I said, “Lord I’m really desperate now. If it’s really You please speak to me again.” I opened the Bible randomly with my eyes closed. I must have done it two or three times after the first time. Each time I opened the Bible it was on a scripture about forgiveness. I felt so happy in my heart. I knew it wasn't coincidence. I knew it was God letting me know that He forgave me. He also said to me, “It’s not what you have done, but what I have done.” The enemy tried to keep me in darkness by discouraging me but God The Great and Faithful Shepherd reached down and rescued me. He’s been with me always. It was later I realized that He never left. He was always waiting right there for that moment.
No sin is too much or too big for God to forgive. It’s not by works that we are saved, but by Grace. I give God ALL the glory, honor, and praise. I thank Him for rescuing me from the hands of the enemy. He is The Great and Faithful Shepherd that loves and cares for His sheep. PRAISE BE TO GOD! For I now know the meaning of AMAZING GRACE!
Sister Keisha
New York, USA