Reading this testimony this morning reflected my own life in some way. I've been doing a little prayer before going to bed and in the morning, very often because we “need” to do it, not really putting my heart always into it. I was busy with school which made me give less time to listening to tapes and going in prayer since I'd always go to bed really tired – too tired to really take time to pray. I was conscious of it, but like the testimony said, you think God understands you are so tired and so busy. I know He forgives and takes what we give Him, but He deserves more, much more than I could ever give Him in my entire life!
I didn't completely stop praying and forgetting about God. I still prayed, and I would still go down on my knees when I really felt a need, staying there as long as I needed. I never stopped going to church or lost that interest in God. I could feel His presence and talk about Him, but I've been up and down, up and down... It's easy to want to serve God and having good will about taking time for Him, but the devil is always right there to make you feel like you don't want to, or you don't feel anything, you can never seem to concentrate when you're praying, your mind is going twenty different directions at the same time while you're praying, etc. But like the quote of the day said, never let a negative thought come in, listening to him can bring you far down deep if you never stop!
So today, after reading the article, I just listened to my tape like I had planned to, but I told myself I would take time to pray afterwards instead of just listening to the tape. Yes, I did lose some parts of the tape, having my mind thinking about something else. Yes, I thought about different things through my prayer, but I can't change myself and if I never do pray and persevere, I'll never be able to have God change me and bring me to a real “stay on the mountain” consecrated life. From this day on, I want to persevere through that. Whether I feel like it or not, my desire is to have that connection with God 24 hours a day, 365 days a year. I know the devil will try hindering me from giving time, but I know as long as I do it, no matter how I feel, God will honor it and give me Victory!
Finally, while listening to my tape this morning, Brother Branham said something that brought to mind that testimony and I thought I'd share it with you.
The reason we don't have the spiritual blessings, we have too much time to watch television, too much time to read the newspapers or listen to something that we ought not to be listening to. And we are not redeeming the time, but we're giving it to the things of the world instead of our time to the Lord Jesus. And the Bible said, that, "Man shall not live by bread alone, but by every Word that proceedeth from the mouth of God." Christians live on the Word.
58-0112A His Wonders To Perform
With that in mind, I will press on towards the mark of the High Calling!
God bless you,
Your sister in Christ.
Canada