There are testimonies that give you courage, and some that make you cry. Others apply directly to your life. And then there are some that put a big smile on your face. Here are a few of those smiles.
Church
One Sunday morning, years ago, we were on our way to church where we listen to the tapes and follow along in the books. We had our little grandson with us and he was talking to another little boy who went to a Baptist church. The little boy was telling our grandson that their service lasts only 30 minutes. Our grandson responded by saying that our service lasts about 28 pages!
Sister Sherry
Is there such thing as a witch?
Or it was little Joseph, he said, "Daddy, is there such a thing as a witch?"
I said, "Oh, sure."
He said, "Does she have a long nose, and she rides on a broom at nighttime?"
I said, "No. She has a painted face and rides in a Cadillac to a--a cocktail party." That's the new modern version of it.
And he said, "Is that a witch?" I don't know whether I should've told him that or not, because every time on the street he sees one, he says, "Daddy, there's a witch, isn't it?"
Brother Branham
Listening to the right thing
We were listening to the Quote of the Day. Brother Branham was telling how God told Moses to take off his shoes. Lily (my three year old) said, “Mama, what Jesus say?” I told her, “He said, take off your shoes.” “Oh!” Lily said, and immediately kicked off her shoes. Then she started talking about the picture we have of Jesus and how He was our best friend. She pointed to the picture of Brother Branham and said how Jesus was Brother Branham's best friend too.
Sister Jennifer
In perfect time
I needed to change my glasses, but I was too busy with the things of the Lord. I prayed to God and said to Him that I didn't know what time would be the best to change my glasses and I asked Him to let me know in someway that I would recognized His answer. Two weeks after that, while I was playing basketball, someone ran into me and both of our heads hit together. My glasses were broken. I thought in my mind, "Today, is the day!" It couldn't have been more clear than that. God always answer prayer!
Brother Samuel
Now that is thin
… they charge you seventy-five cents for a little old sandwich that's sliced so thin it's only got one side to it. And--and it, now, it's awful.
Brother Branham
That’s even thinner
And she said, "Oh, Mr. Branham!" Said, "If I prove to you... You said you were fundamental. And if, you, I prove to you, by your own Bible, that He was not Divine, will you accept it?" I said, "If the Bible said so, I believe the Bible." She said, "All right, I'll give you your own Scripture." Said, "Saint John, the 11th chapter. The Bible said, that, 'When Jesus went down to the grave of Lazarus,' the Bible said, 'He wept.' And He could not weep and be Divine." I said, "Is that the end of it?" I said, "Is that all you got to say?"
She said, "Yes." I said, "Lady, your argument is thinner than the broth made out of the shadow of a chicken that starved to death."
Brother Branham
Quiet Time is every day
When Brother Joseph first started global Quiet Time I had the best intentions to participate. Saturday morning would come and go and I would forget or sleep right through it. You know, the old adage, “The spirit is willing, but the body is weak.” Anyway, I was determined to conquer this flesh. The day before I would mentally remind myself of QT and that night I started my evening chores a little early so I could get to bed a little earlier, so waking up at 4:00 am would be a little easier. Laundry put away – check. Kitchen cleaned up – check. Kids tucked away – check. Dog fed – check. Lights out – check. I headed to bed.
When my alarm went off the next morning at 3:55 am, I got out of bed and enjoyed my prayer time so much! I could just imagine my brothers and sisters all over the WORLD joining with me in prayer. I was praying for them and I was hoping they were praying for me. When QT was over, I crawled back in bed with such a feeling of joy and accomplishment when it occurred to me...........it was Friday.
Sister Rebecca
The love letter
My mom heard this on the radio the other day and thought it was cute! A professor asked his students one day, to all stand who believed the Bible. And then to keep standing if you really truly believe all that the Bible says. The professor then said that he read the Bible, and felt that those who wrote it were really confused. One Christian student said that the Bible is God's love letter to Christians, and that's why he was confused, because he was reading someone else’s love letter!
Sister Rosanna
Finding the right husband
"Look," I said, "sister, I'd rather go with a Christian boy that had feet like gravel cars and smelled like a polecat, if he was absolutely a Christian." That's right. True. Yeah.
(Definition of polecat: skunk)
Brother Branham
Oops. I thought you were… well…
I was going up on a bus one time when I was state game warden here. Going up here... I was setting there, and a man was talking like that, had a welder's cap on, and I was just talking to him. And he was going ahead smoking a cigarette, had a welder's glasses pushed up like that. Was right up here around Sellersburg. And I was setting there talking to that fellow. He said something there, and we all got to laughing; I hit him on the leg; I said, "Boy, that--that really takes the cake, doesn't it?"
And I was setting there like that, and the--directly some--a woman setting across there said, "Say, Ruth, are you going to...?"
Had on overalls, great big, burly just like a man, setting there smoking a cigarette and blowing it out her nose, I thought it was a man. Telling about dropping a acetylene torch and doing something, hitting on somebody's head and knocked the what-you-call-it off, and started laughing. I laughed too and slapped her right on the leg, thinking it was a man.
Brother Branham